Dear Mom, Where are you,

In spite of whole last 5 & half years(after my mom's death), I always feel my mom is here with me in each and every second and i never feel she doesnt exist physically among us, but this time during my long stay in my hometown (specially after 5 years), i am feeling so nostalgic about it by looking at each corner of our house which is filled up with her memories,(particularly in my case since i had spent many hours talking with her),,again and again remembering her memories at each point and corner of this house, and

this time i am feeling how much i need her ,,,,,

and her empty place here,,,,,,
where are you mom,,,,where are you,,,,,,

i need you here this time ,,,,,,,, how much i feel your empty place here,,,,,,,,, how much i feel the need of your impact in my life and our family,,,,,,,,, how much i need you to talk to you,,,,

how much i need your power and impact on our family decisions,

where are you mom,,,,
just i was remembering and thinking about many many issues in my life and the amount of help she would have given to me and our family at current situation and my life,,, i was listening to the song by Eric Clapton
"Holy Mother",,,,i would like to share this song with all of you,friends:

Holy Mother, where are you?

Tonight I feel broken in two.
I've seen the stars fall from the sky.
Holy mother, can't keep from crying.

Oh I need your help this time,
Get me through this lonely night.
Tell me please which way to turn
To find myself again.

Holy mother, hear my prayer,
Somehow I know you're still there.
Send me please some peace of mind;
Take away this pain.

I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait any longer.
I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait for you.

Holy mother, hear my cry,
I've cursed your name a thousand times.
I've felt the anger running through my soul;
All I need is a hand to hold.

Oh I feel the end has come,
No longer my legs will run.
You know I would rather be
In your arms tonight.

When my hands no longer play,
My voice is still, I fade away.
Holy mother, then I'll be
Lying in, safe within your arms.

Ooooohhhhh, Home town, memories, people,memories,people,memories,,,,

This time during my long stay in my hometown , I am facing new experiences with people (may not all of them a happy or enjoyable, or better to say may be most of them are nostalgic for me ! ),
Tonight i attended a wedding party (ofcourse an Iranian style) after about 7 years. In spite of i never liked this kind of wedding parties(mostly because of the type of B..l sh..t music they play and some B..L S..t customs, which i wished to be at least some of our proud traditional persian customs not these kind of mixed nonsense !!), this wedding party just was interesting for me since i was attending such kind after about 7 years !!,,,,and meeting some people after a long time,,,,
Ooooohhhhhh, memories, hmetown, memories, people, memories, memories,,,,
i was greeting many people, and just remembering my late mom and many discussions and memories with her regarding many issues and many of those people,,,,sometimes i feel it will be very difficult for me to live in this place again with such memories,,,,
Oooooohhhhhhh, memories, hometown, memories, people, memories, memories,,,,,,
but concurrnetly, from the other side, i was having totally a different type of feeling this time by attending such party, by looking at different couples who were dancing together, this time ,somehow i was understanding their feelings or at least to geuss such feelings,,,and the reason for this different feeling was maybe due to some changes in my life which is happening these days,,,,,and i am so happy for that, because since last 2 months i am feeling i found my lost ring,my lost piece,or my completeing stone piece in my life,,,,,,and all these giving me a new kind of motivation in my life in directing my life arrow,,,,,,,
Oooooohhhhhh, memories, hometown, memories, people, memories, memories,,,,,
but anyway,,,,I say thank you to God, for all whatever giving me in my life,,,,and i am happy for all that,,,,but still, God, help me ,,help me,,,and help me,,,,
Oooooohhhhhh, memories, hometown, memories, people, memories, memories,,,,,
and i feel the "wind of change' in my life,,,,,