Experiencing the autumn again in my hometown after 5 years

The real autumn started from tonight but with almost one and half month delay, and i have a strange feeling , i dont know whether "strange" is the right word to explain my feelings. Becuase its a mixture of feelings of strange, nostalgic, to imagine to be alone in such night with the person i love, listening to the sound of rain, at the same time to sit in a place where I used to sit during my high school time and studying for the university entrance exam ! , in a place where sometimes I used to sit with my mom and spend whole night and talk to her, and ofcourse sometimes during the same time autumn time and listening to the rain(but ofcourse you can understand the difference in the feelings during these listenings to the rain sound, !!) ,,,,,and now after 5-6 years experiencing the same environment,,,,but many things has been changed in life,,,,,,,,
first of all, I am not the same person !,but maybe still many of my thoughts are in the same direction but just more depthful,,,
in spite of my mom doesnt exist physically, but i am living with her and her thoughts all the time,,,,,,
the relationships inside the family has changed a lot,,,,nobody is the same as 5 years ago !,,,,(maybe the reason is the loss of my late mom,,,the power and the pillor of the family,,,,,)
and ,,,finaly,at least something new,,,,,,something energizing in my life,,,,something is happening in my life which is giving me an extra energy to overcome all the difficulties,,,,,something is happening in my heart ,,,,,just i am feeling i am F.I.L. .........and this is the greatest thing is happening in my life,,,,,which i am thinking seriously about it,,,,,ohhhhhhhhhhh,,,,my God,,,,its an amazing feeling,,,,
and I am experiencing all of these,,,after 5 years during the autumn in my hometown,,,,
and tonight the real autumn started here,,,its raining and I am listening to the sound of rain again but with all these changes,,,,
maybe the only thing is the same is the sound of rain,,,,,but,,,,,,nooooooooo,,,,,,,,the autumn rain also started later !!!!
all of these feelings tonight ,,,made me to be awake and sit to write this page,,,,,,
ohhhhhhhhhhh,,,my God,,,i dont know how to explain these feelings,,,,its not possible to explain in a single word,,,sentence, phrase, paragraph,,page, chapter or even a book,,,,,
thats why i like just to lie down next to the person i am thinking about and listen to the sound of rain,,,,and look at each other,,,,,sometimes just eyes can talk to each other without even saying a word,,,,,tonight i want to talk in this way till morning,,,,,,,,,
ohhhhhhhhhhhh....my God,,,,thanks for everything,,,,,,