Nostalgia

Its about 3 months I came to Iran to conduct my project here and from the first 2-3 weeks i was planning to write a new post about my feelings, my deep feelings about my hometown, ny feelings about my country and ,,,,,,but till today it was postponed for 2 reasons, 1st of all the proper wording to explain my feelings truthfully has not came into my mind, and secondly , i had lack of relax time to make myself free for few minutes to sit and write here, but today i got it to sit and write it because since last few days or i can say weeks, my feeling are changeing and entering a new mood in my life, so i thought before coming out of the mood which i wanted to write these sentences its better to sit today and write it.
within the first few weeks to be in my hometown after more than 2 years, i experienced many many new things which i didnt touch it in my previous trips. Maybe the reason was in my prvious trips which all were for a month or so and it was short duration i was not much in touch with people in roads and streets but this time since i am here to conduct my project for 6 months i was in contact with people more and more and what i experienced was not much fruitful, perhaps i could say it was hopeless ( I dont want to use a negative loaded word, so i may call it very very different from past; much more in a downward direction!!!) not only about the way of life here, but also about the relationship between people in everyday life, their ideas about life, the way of raising up the kids, the way they think and feel about the future, how much they know about themselves and their culture and who they are, how much they are trying to keep pace withe rest of world (ofcourse we have to mention in what topics !), and how much they try to be who they are , what they are , and why,,,,
within first 2 weeks i walked down on the streets in my hometown, all the streets where we had memories, but many things are changed and the worse thing is to say the change is in a worse direction, the way people talk to each other, the way they drive the cars, the way they contact each other, and ina word to say in all aspects ,,, i felt down when i saw all these,,,,,why this city became like this,,,,,and is it the same changes in rest of Iran?!!! ,,,,i felt down because when i was in high school and as i remember this city was famous for science and good and polite manner,,,,but what i saw this time it was a very shaded picture of what was in my mind,,,,,,but why became like this,,,,,,,and what i feel its the same in all other cities of this beautiful country,,but why,,,,
whomever i talked regarding these issues, just i heard few same sentences: "the government is making everything worse for us, all prices are increasing, inflation rate is highest in the world, there is no freedom for the minimum of the social issues, the poor is getting poorer, and so on "which all reflects the social and economical aspects of life,,,,,
but when i sit and talk to myself i see the situation is worse than this, because i think why the economical, social freedom issues, & all mentioned should affect our daily relationships of people with each other,,,,i as a citizen am not responsible alone and why others; my own citizens should talk to me like this (each other),,,why it should affect the way of our driving which has its own rules seperate of all other stuff and issues,,,,why we should talk with our costumer in an inpolite way!!!,,,,,and when we do all these faults how are kids are raisng in this society !!!!!,,,,,
why at least the educated people of this country dont realize that majority of our problems which we are facing now is due to less amount of time we spend on reading, and due to less amount time we spend to know our own culture, and to introduce it to our kids that who we are, who we were, and on this base how we have to be !!!!,,,,till when we want to be a shadow?!!, till when,??!!!!
Isnt it the time we , each of us as a citizen of this great land to realize we have to change ourselves from the smallest unit of this society from inside my family,,,,,and teach the raising kid in the family, at least the basics of Humanity?and when we dont do it one by one ,how we expect to change the community in a positive way,,,,,,,,,,
all these feeling were inside me from the first 2 weeks of my stay here in my hometown and till today i was not able to write it,,,,,,,,,i want to sayfew words in persian,,,,,
"gahi ehsas mikonam,,,,,Iranihaye kharej az Iran kheili kheili Iranitar az iranihaye dakhele keshvar be ravesh Irani zendegi mikonan,,,,,chera ma faramush kardim ki hasti,,,,ki budim,,,,,,pas key mikhayeem be khodemun byaeem, chera hichvaght fekr nemikonim ke shayad dlile tame inha az bimotale budane khode mahast, va in ke rahe shenakhte gozashtamuno na tanha be bachehamun yad nemdim balke khodemun ham faramush kardim,,,,"
I am happy that finally i wrote my word about my feelings about these issues,,,,because i was coming out the mood of these words, since i feel i am entering a new stage in my life which needs to get out of this mood.
at end I want to write from Zartosht the first known prophet,,,,,
may be all of our problems originate from the same basics he said thousands years ago:
"Pendare nik, Goftare nik va Kerdare nik"